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Brainstorming...again

As promised, I'm going to give some thoughts on Michael Lee's post about the decline in great nicknames.  Sadly, in a world that's getting lazier by the minute most of us have resorted to the bland "first letter of the first name, first syllable of the last name" rhetoric that's produced such awe inspiring nicknames as T-Mac, J-Will, J-Kidd, J-Rich, D-Wade, D-Will, and K-Mart.  Thankfully, none of Washington's star players have names that fit this profile (G-Are? C-But? A-Jam?) which has forced fans to be more creative, and as a result, many Wizards have great nicknames.

Despite this, we've yet to coin a nickname for the Wizards' dynamic trio which I find, as a fan, unacceptable.  So I propose that we do something about this.  We are going to give these players who have pulled this team out of the depths of mediocrity and into the playoffs a nickname, and it's going to be a good one.

After the jump, some tips to get the creative juices flowing.

Geographic Relevance: Being in the nation's capital gives the Wizards more opportunities to tie in their nicknames with their surroundings than many other places, don't overlook this.  Let's face it, if the 80's Lakers had been playing in Milwaukee, they probably wouldn't have been called Showtime.

Cultural Relevance: Tying in the nickname with something that's popular and relevant right now will help us to remember these times when we reminisce years from now.  Obviously, if you can somehow incorporate Crank Dat Soulja Boy, we'll immediately have the adoration of the brothers Mottram.  A great example of this method being used would be Run TMC.  

Style of Play:  Nicknames like Showtime and Michael Jordan and the Flying Circus, don't leave questions about their style of play.  Obviously here we'd try to find something to describe the Wizards' explosive scoring, or their use of the Princeton offense.  No defensive jokes, please.

Now as for actual nickname suggestions, here's some ideas from the comments of Lee's post:

Triple Swag
Killer J.A.B.
DC3
Earth Wind and Fire (Jamison=Earth, Arenas=Wind, Butler=Fire although I have a problem with Hibachi not being fire.)
The Administration
Agent Zero and The Revolution
The Noise

And some ideas from yours truly:

SWAG Team
3 Ring Circus
The Beltway Blitz
Generation O
Maroon 3
Backdoor Crew
Chain of Command
If they played at the Comcast Center we could call them the Comcast Triple Play, oh well.

That's all I've got, feel free to add any suggestions you have.  I think when we hear the best idea, we'll know, it'll click, just like any other great nickname.

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Um ...
"Three the Hard Way"? I got it from the Beastie Boys song, but apparently there's a "blaxploitation" film of the same name in existence.

And I saw the EW&F suggestion on the blog, too -- however, I saw the metaphor like this: Butler = earth (his mad toughness), AJ = wind (he's silky on those crafty flip shots he loves), and Gil = fire (Hibachi connection that Jake already made; his incomparably fiery passion for the game and all things swaggy). "EW&F" may be the winner for me ... intriguing, fitting, catchy. Plus I love the real EW&F's music.

by miestersean on Oct 6, 2007 3:10 AM EDT   0 recs

big 3 nickname
Guess I prefer Earth, Wind, and Fire. I'm going through a phase of renewed appreciation their (the band's) music now, so it would be a good tribute. Definitely Jamison is Earth since he's so well grounded (and solid too). Gilbert and Caron can switch off being wind and fire. They both have attributes that match each.

by hotplate on Oct 6, 2007 11:26 AM EDT   0 recs

As long as its...
not the Backdoor Crew...unless we are planning to sign John Amaechi.

by Romans12 on Oct 6, 2007 2:29 PM EDT   0 recs

oooh
that was baaaaaad.

I think it's gotta be some sort of riff on "swag."  That was the defining phrase for this team's culture and chemistry.

by sierradave on Oct 6, 2007 5:14 PM EDT   0 recs

What if...
we call them the "Muggles"? They are humans that have the abilities of Wizards. Plus, we can capitalize on the marketing machine that is Harry Potter. Can you imagine how much press we would get if our Washington Wizards partnered up with the Wizards of Hogwarts?

by Romans12 on Oct 6, 2007 7:35 PM EDT   0 recs

Riffing
This discussion calls for some stream-of-consciousness creativity, so I'm just going to let the words flow, then go back and spell them right (hopefully), but leave the original thoughts I come up with, even if they're utter rubbish. I say we can call the Gil-Caron-Tawn troika the Trio Grande -- it's accurate, rolls off the tongue and pays tribune to Gil's latino heritage.

While we're at it with nicknames, how about Laser for Nick Young and Taser for Dom McGuire. We'd be bringing Laser and Taser off the bench. A high-powered weapon who can slice through the defense with ease and a high-voltage stunner who knocks them on their can. When he crams one on some dude's melon, I'll yell, "Don't Tase me, bro."

And let's call AD something better than his initials. How about "Black Panther"? (My daughter was watching an Avengers video today.) He's quick and catlike and bouncy (uhh, and black). I think it's funny that Marvel and DC routinely called their black superheros "Black" something (Black Goliath, Black Lightning) back in the 70s until they realized how stupid it was.

Oleksiy Pecherov can be "Sandman," since those heavy-lidded eyes make him look sleepy alla time. BTH already has Brenda, but I always like to call him Haywood Jablome. Prolly shouldn't yell that when kids are around, or when he can reach ya.

I think the only other guy who needs a nickname is Andray Blatche. He sort of reminds me of John Salley, so how about some riff on Salley's nickname -- Spider. Let's go with The Tarantula.

OK, so I'll prolly go back and think this whole comment is stupid, which leaves me cringing at what everyone else will think, but that's my lil brainstorming session.

"Now, obviously individual production does not unilaterally equal better team production, but there's a high level of causation."

by Vanilla Gorilla on Oct 6, 2007 11:24 PM EDT   0 recs

Quite the contrary
I thought that was brilliant.  I think Laser and Taser could really stick as well as Haywood Jablome.  If I had the kind of money to spend on getting customized jerseys, I would so get a Jablome #33.

Isn't the Trio Grande a meal at Taco Bell?

Bullets Forever: Your place for the very latest in Wizards news and PhD-level analysis.

by JakeTheSnake on Oct 7, 2007 4:56 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

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